Thursday, April 2, 2009

No. 88 is Like ... Dude, Don't Bogart the Bugles!

Once upon a time, the world seemed like a simpler place. I believed world peace was achievable, if only all our leaders would just get together and toke up. "Multiculturalism" meant buying cheap Moroccan handicrafts from some stoned guy who kept staring at my friends' tits (no one ever stared at my tits). I lusted after cute rich girls who wore Birkenstocks and flowy dresses, and who pretended it didn't matter that they went to such expensive colleges. They were straight, but still made me hemp jewelry and sometimes kissed me if they'd had a couple of drinks (because they were open-minded like that).

Czech & Speake's No. 88 smells like something I would have worn back then, if I'd heard of it, and if it didn't cost $130 a bottle. It's an overly-sweet, one-dimensional scent that reminds me of a hemp bracelet that's been sitting next to the incense display at some cheesy head shop with dancing bears painted on the windows. The smell is nice enough, for what it is ... unfortunately, "what it is" is a cologne for painfully self-aware, horny 19-year-olds who think Nag Champa incense represents the apex of worldly and exotic fragrances.

Image note: As long as cute college girls continue to make ugly hemp jewelry, there will still be good in the world.

1 comment:

BitterGrace said...

I read this twice and it made me laugh out loud both times. It's a great review. I know exactly what No. 88 smells like, even though I've never sniffed it.

It might not achieve world peace, but it's fun to imagine world leaders getting together and toking up. Ahmadinejad would drive everybody crazy with his non-stop talking, and Sarkozy strikes me as the type who gets paranoid when high.